I’m sure you have a number of friends that have had a long term relationship come to an end, and within a week, started seeing some person else that is totally wrong for them. Well this is a pretty frequent result of the end of relationships
It’s turned into a normal way of thinking about dating, that it nearly seems natural to look for a rebound after your breakup. The good old “get back on the horse” mindset can have its merits, but choosing a new partner when your judgement is obscured by the breakup, is likely to do more harm than good. There are much better approaches to get over your ex. If you really want a new relationship, rebound the smart way
The Rebound Mindset
If you want to stay away from making a big mistake after a breakup, you first have to take an honest look at exactly how you are feeling, and understand how those feelings may lead you to doing things that are going to be damaging. Usually, you do not begin a new relationship because you want to be with that person. It is generally because you miss the feeling of being close to someone and would rather be with anyone than be alone. This is more a distraction from what you are really feeling after the breakup, than a stable relationship. Instead, try to surround yourself with friends in social activities instead of looking for romance.
Keep Your Standards
Following a breakup, you tend to let your standards slide as you look to find an individual to fill the void your ex has left behind. In reality you should go the exact opposite way and raise your standards a little bit, just to give yourself a little protection. If the person you become attracted to in a post breakup condition has less going for them than you would typically go for, take a step back. They won’t make for a good relationship, rebound or not.
Don’t Just Go For Someone Convenient
We usually want somebody fairly fast when we are searching for a rebound. We ordinarily do not have the time to waste getting to know someone and making sure there is a connection, so we tend to look to get with someone we already know and already have a certain amount of a relationship with. This might be a co-worker, friend or just someone you often talk to. If you feel you are you’re becomeing enticed to someone you already know, but never had any feelings for previously, you ought to take a step back and ask yourself what is really going on.
Make Time For Yourself
Don’t attempt to fill all your time with dates that aren’t going anywhere. Make some time to enjoy yourself and make new friends (no lovers). Do something that you have always wanted to do but never had the time for. Don’t just stay around your house on your own, crying “I want ex back“, or buying every self help book under the sun.
Don’t Be Too Harsh On Yourself
You might not show itt, but the end of a relationship will always leave you feeling low and a little bummed out. Accept this and try not to do anything too big for a week or two. Instead treat yourself, and do something you take pleasure in. Give yourself a break.
All rebounds are no a disaster, and best case scenario, you will have a bit of fun that will help you move on. But you have to make sure that you aren’t lowering your standards and just getting into a new relationship because you want to be with someone, anyone.
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Related posts:
- Rebound Relationships FAQ: Are Rebound Relationships Doomed to Fail?
- Surviving a Relationship Break Up – How to Avoid Rebound Relationship Disaster
- The Keys to Surviving a Difficult Breakup: 5 Tips to Surviving a Breakup and Keeping Your Sanity!
- Get Over a Break Up – 7 Things You Could Be Doing Instead of Thinking About Your Ex Boyfriend
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