When it comes to getting over a break up there seems to be a distinct lack of advice other than “work on yourself” and you get the distinct impression that these people have never been through a painful break up. If you want some advice from someone who has lived through the pain of a break up then read on
There’s advice everywhere you look on how to save your relationship, how to get your ex back and how to improve your relationship by pleasing your man or lady in your life.
But when it comes to getting over a break up there seems to be a distinct lack of advice other than “work on yourself” and you get the distinct impression that these people have never been through a painful break up let alone be able to advise how to get over a break up.
I’m not knocking them; maybe they just lack the skill of portraying what they have been through themselves. And let’s face it; there is very little room to write everything down in an article sized piece.
Some people do get stuck and wrapped up in their grief after a break up. I know I did, and sometimes you can’t “just snap out of it”.
How do you get over a break up if you’ve had no closure?
How can you work on yourself when even getting out of bed in the morning takes more energy than you think you have?
You do need to work on yourself to get over a break up; more precisely work through your feelings and emotions at first.
If you’ve spent the last month (or even more) lying on your couch in your pj’s feeling sorry for yourself, being told to go out and socialize, learn a new skill or think positively is not helpful. Simply because you have sunk past “feeling a bit down” into feeling depressed and that’s a whole other kettle of fish to deal with.
The first step to get over a break up is to recognize the emotions you are feeling and find a way to work through them. It is not “easy” but there are some simple techniques you can use to regain control of your emotions. You may find counseling or therapy helps you a lot; it is not a weakness to seek help.
One simple technique to get over a break up and take back control of your emotions is to accept some responsibility for how you feel by writing. Acknowledge and admit your mistakes and feelings on paper so you can work through them.
It doesn’t really matter what form your writing takes, a letter, journal, essay, poetry, whatever works for you. You don’t need to show your work to anyone.
Once you have vented, and then find an answer for each point you have made and write a reply. For every mistake write down what you learned from it, for every negative feeling write down a positive thought.
This has the effect of flicking a mental switch in your brain from “victim blame mode” back over to “take control mode”. Writing your thoughts and feelings down makes them more real too. You may find just venting your feelings is enough to get you back on track.
To find out more simple techniques to get back in control of your emotions after a break up, download my free report today. Just click on the link or fill out the box on the left.
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