How To Make A Relationship Work
There are various ways to make a relationship work and in turn, there are many different kinds of relationships. If you are having problems in your own relationship the first thing to do is try to work out what kind of relationship do you have?
This may sound like a silly question but ponder it for a moment. Is your relationship based upon intellect or is it more physical? Are you a couple that shares time with other couples or do you spend more time by yourselves? Do you go out lots or are you the type of couple who spend most of their time at home?
These are just a few variances that most people don’t think about and studies show that relationships tend to be a lot more secure when they get a good balance and are not too extreme in how they are built, at least in the long run. Extreme relationships tend to start very well and are very intense but like most things in life, too much of something tends to take away the hit or the satisfaction that is attained and after a while the mind begins to yearn for something(or someone) else with an equally satisfying hit.
Think back to your most intense relationships and you will probably recall the ones that were more physical at the beginning. This is mainly down to two factors. Either the physical side of things were very intense or the emotions involved were such that you were unable to hold yourselves back physically. Whichever one describes your more intense relationships the common factor is that there will have been a level of addiction which needed to be satisfied.
Like any addiction the yearning tends to grow in intensity and you need bigger hits to achieve the same levels of satisfaction. If you think about this within a relationship, it is very rare to be able to keep stretching yourselves further in any capacity, whether it be physical or emotional. This is why after 3-6 months (sometimes it takes longer) a lot of couples lose their spark and a lot of the time, are unable to work out why. Once again think back to your most intense relationships, no matter how short, and the likelihood is you will recall the feeling of addiction you had for spending time with that person. The yearning to be with them and to do whatever it was you did with them.
Getting The Right Balance
Is there a perfect balance? The answer is yes however this perfect balance varies from couple to couple so the secret of success is to spend time thinking about how you spend your time together and in most cases, to discuss how you both feel at different stages of the relationship. For those who started out with an intense physical relationship, one of you may still be fully satisfied with this but the other now needs a different kind of stimulus. If you don’t think about this properly, the likelihood is you will just begin to think that the person you are with is not the right one for you. If you don’t discuss it, your partner will not know how you feel and will continue as they are because they are still happy with the physical intensity. Below are some suggestions of how some typical couples’ scenarios can adapt and what they can try to help them evolve into a better balanced, more solid relationship.
Physical Relationships
Try to spend more time going out – both as a couple and separately with your friends. Time apart is important as it helps rebuild the want you have for each other and it also helps to prevent the relationship from going stale.
It’s a well coined phrase but absence really does make the heart grow fonder. As well as building the feeling of missing your partner, it also serves to give you extra things to talk about. If you are in a relationship based largely on the physical side, you will probably find that you don’t talk as much as you used to.
You may also want to try some aphrodisiacs. This will not fix the whole situation but aphrodisiacs are proven to heighten intensity and physical satisfaction and there are many different varieties available so you can mix things up and keep things fresh.
Emotional Relationships
These relationships are often still physical, but the fact that you categorise yourself in this bracket normally means that although you are spending physical time together, you probably aren’t fully satisfied on a physical level. This is often difficult to bring into conversation with your partner without hurting their feelings, even though they may well be feeling the same way .
A great way to address this situation is to play games which help to push the boundaries of your physical relationship. Some are card games which have playful and suggestive instructions on them. They help you to explore each other in ways that you might otherwise not have been able to try and afterwards it’s a lot easier to discuss the parts which brought you extra satisfaction and stimulation.
Social Relationships
These relationships are typically where you have been going out for a few years and you are relatively dependant on each other because you go to the same places together and to a degree, you stay together because people expect you to. A relationship which looks very strong on the outside when you are seen out and about by your friends but once you get home behind closed doors the chemistry dies and communication stops almost as soon as you walk through the front door.
It is likely that things have gone stale due to doing the same things or seeing the same people week in week out and you may find success by trying out new things, getting new hobbies which in turn will help you to meet new people. This will help to give you more to talk about when you are at home together and take away those uncomfortable nights of relative silence which can be extremely haunting at times.
There are many other kinds of relationships however there are too many to put in one article. If you don’t fit exactly into any of the above examples try to think of which one you are closest to. If you are somewhere in between and have a blend of them all then you probably have a good, solid relationship.
If you are in an extreme relationship try to think of how you have been feeling at each stage of the relationship and then go through the same process with previous relationships and you will most likely see patterns. Extremes are great for short term satisfaction however it is variety which is often described as the spice of life and if you don’t have enough variety, the chances are you don’t have enough spice in your relationship.
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